Once upon a time (2006) I went to a convention and tried to break into comics. I found some interest from Ape Entertainment. That was exciting. I also got shot down by various other publishers. I was use to it. I had been getting rejected since 1998.
One publisher, Topcow, gave me a biting review. “Well… you aren’t hopeless.” I was told. Meaning, I was for all intents and purposes hopeless. Trust me, he meant it that way.
When I returned home after the convention I was furious. I wasn’t happy about the interest at Ape like I should have been. I wasn’t sad, depressed or hopeless. I had a raging fire to prove him wrong. It drove me for years. Sure I wanted to draw for Marvel or DC but I really wanted Topcow so I could slay the dragon.
I still had that as a primary goal until two months ago. So why the change? I’ve been listening to hours of Joseph Campbell. He is the real life Yoda. If you are doing things for the wrong reasons you aren’t where you need to be in life. To find your bliss it has to be for you. He mentions a 70 year old man worrying about his golf score or a 40 year old making decisions based on what his mom would think.
I can’t let spite guide me to where I want to be in life. I can’t live trying to measure up all the time. The act of drawing is all that matters to me now. I’m not trying to show Topcow how wrong they were. The Heat won the NBA title tonight. LeBron James said in his post game comments, “Last year I let it affect me. I was playing to prove people wrong last year. People would say I was selfish and that got to me.”
Find your bliss. Follow it. Relax.
I am a Kobe fan so it’s weird for me to use LeBron to make a point. It’s all about the point. You have to go where you have to go.
It’s as simple as that. Get some.